Not the Easiest Post to Write

We can all agree it’s always more fun to share good and exciting news than it is to share “bad” news. But sometimes there aren’t any real good news to share, only the truth of things, and sometimes that truth is less fun. That’s basically the reason I haven’t updated the blog in a *cough, cough* while.

Let’s do a quick recap for those of you who’ve stumbled on to this blog and are wondering what the hell I’m talking about. I’ve written a book. A big, fat epic fantasy book at 150 000 words. I have three different drafts of this book (not counting the absolute first draft which I threw away 50 000 words in), and it’s my first ever completed novel.

In the past few weeks I have decided to put that novel away. Maybe for the time being, maybe forever. I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care at this moment. A handful of people have read the book, and although they didn’t seem to hate it (when I asked them to score it, they all agreed it was like a 5 or a 6 out of 10), I didn’t feel it was good enough. I hired a freelance editor (publishing industry veteran John Jarrold) who I knew would be completely honest with me. His verdict: No, it wasn’t good enough.

I was relieved. Almost like being freed of a burden.

Having a full-time job whilst writing a book in late evenings was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. During that time I needed to convince myself this book would lead somewhere. I would get an agent with this and get published. That was (and still is) the dream. If I didn’t believe that, I would most likely never have finished the thing. Was it realistic to think that? Probably not, but who gives a fuck? I will never be the guy to tell someone else they can’t go after their dreams. Ever.

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But if you’re thinking I’m all depressed and defeated right now, you couldn’t be more wrong. I feel amazing actually. I now know I’ll have to work harder and embrace the grind. I’m not the exception to the rule who gets their first novel published. Instead, I’m like all those other authors (and there’s a lot of them) who wrote their first book and had to put it away. Some write two, or three books before they make it. The only common denominator is that none of them gave up, and neither will I.

I’m 10 000 words into a new novel and I’m loving it. I’m not even thinking if this will get me an agent or any of that. I’m once again writing just because that’s what I love to do. I have proved to myself I can finish a complete novel and go through several edits, and I’ve learnt so goddamn much from doing it. I tweeted the other day that the best part about working on a new book is that it really feels like I’ve levelled up my skills.

So there you have it. Life goes on and I keep writing.


17 thoughts on “Not the Easiest Post to Write

  1. My first novel didn’t get published, and that is a blessing to all of us. Having my name on that beginner’s work would be a detriment to my career. I’ve read your work, and you’ve got the thing–whatever that thing is–that separates a mediocre writer from someone with serious chops. Keep on keeping on, I know you’re going to be successful…and it will be so worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Couldn’t have said it better myself, Wolfy. And hearing stuff like this from you and Sadir is making me feel pretty fucking inspired right now.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You love your work. That means it’s going to be so much more than enough. Must say, you have a healthy attitude. Inspiring, as Laura said.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bit late to the post, but I’ll share my thoughts anyway:

    I wrote a novel I loved, dearly. I got a number of requests from agents. They all passed, and I asked friends where I went wrong. Turned out, it was definitely not good enough.
    So I wrote another novel in a genre I wasn’t the big fan of. I didn’t really like the characters, world, style, etc, and when I was 2/3 through it was an actual chore to write, and I had to force myself to finish the last few chapters. I hated it so, so badly my stomach hurt. I wondered what the bloody point was, if I hated my own work so much why should I write and edit it?

    I put it away, wrote the novel I always wanted to write, not caring whether it was a popular genre or if it’d get an agent. And it did end up getting an agent, because it was a work I loved and was passionate about.

    So I’ve been there. And I say: never give up and never write anything you don’t love to pieces. You’ll get there, mate. I believe you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing your path and the kind words! Following your journey is very inspirational and I wish you all the best! Hopefully I’ll be able to read your novel in the near future 🙂


      1. Thank you 🙂 You’ve put in the work my friend, so I wasn’t surprised one bit when you shared you’d gotten an agent (and helluva agent at that). The sky’s the limit!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, he’s one hell of an agent! Didn’t realise how lucky I was until I got so many people who’d heard of him and his work and the things he’s done. And so far he’s taken very, very good care of me. We’ll bring lots of aliens, crazy AIs and self-destructive planet sprawling cities to the world soon. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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